What Are Some Good Tips About Talking To Kids About Where Babies Come From?
She’s 7 and has been talking about babies and we think the question will be coming soon. We want to address any questions she has about anything before she learns about it on the school yard. Can you suggest any books you found useful and how did you start the conversation off when they brought it up?
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
Hi! I suggest telling her the truth and use the proper terms for body parts. It used to sort of tick me off when I’d hear parent’s refer to a penis as a bird and vagina as butterfly or many others. To me that sounds silly. Its hard thinking our children at that age even want to know about sex or where babies come from. If you start early with proper terms when they get into health classes they are prepared and understand it more than the other students. There were alot of times in middle school my girls would come home proud of the fact that when questions were asked in health class they already knew the answer and when the teacher asked how they knew, it was me that got the credit, not their bus friends! =D I fully agree with you on the school yard lessons. They used to hear conversations on the bus, and alot of them were on elementary school buses which surprised me some of the words they came home with. They learn stuff so early now its uncomprehensible to me. I didn’t hide the truth about anything and am now thankful for that. They would come home and tell me some of the conversations on the bus were and what the kids THOUGHT some of the stuff meant and couldn’t understand why they thought that. Its because parents do hide the truth from them because they think they are too young. Being honest with her will be such a positive thing for her and you making this a comfortable discussion with her will give her the confidence to come to you to discuss future issues with you instead of someone else. When there are 12,13 and 14 year olds getting pregnant, 7 is not too early…….knowledge is power, your even asking this question is proof enough you want your little girl to have the knowledge! Good Luck!
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
there’s a really good book called “it’s so amazing.” don’t be afraid to answer questions. tell the truth. you don’t need to give more info than your child is asking for. kids that age usually want to hear one piece of info at a time and that’s it. she will process it and come back some other time with more questions. don’t give her toomuch info at a time. when she asks you about something, be sure to ask her where she heard about it. i always ask that first before i give more info because your answer really needs to relate to her question. if her info is incorrect, you need to know that and be able to correct it and know who it came from. kids get lots of incorrect info from lots of incorrect places! you want her to be able to come to you whenever she has a question and to know that you will answer her and tell her the truth. don’t be worried about telling her things you don’t think she should know yet — she won’t ask it until she wants to know. and when she wants to know, you might as well be the one to tell her becsue you can bet she will find out some other way otherwise!
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
The library has some awesome books. I think the one that we got was “It’s not the stork” Do a google search for it but I am sure that was the title. It is for around that age too.
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
My oldest daughter is six and her little sister is 20 months. So she already knows that babies grow in mommy’s tummy. And while we were having general discussions about it I made sure she knew that the baby was in the uterus and not the stomach. She hasn’t asked yet how babies get in there in the first place but when she does I’ll tell her daddies put them there. I don’t plan on going into the details of how until she asks. I don’t think kids really want all the details before they’re ready.
That said, now that she’s in school, I have told her that if she hears anything at school she can come and ask me about it. I’ve left the subject matter open so it can be about anything, not just sex. And we do talk about right and wrong and our moral values all the time, too. I want her to have the biology right but also the morality. I didn’t have any books but she walked in on me once when I was watching a baby story and she wouldn’t let me turn it from the labor and delivery. In fact, she says it’s one of her favorite shows.
I don’t know if I’ve helped you at all so to put it briefly, answer questions honestly and with correct terminology. and don’t volunteer more information than the child really wants or needs.
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
Not sure if it’s helpful… but when I was a kid… I pretty much got told pretty much like it is. My mom being a doctor.
Has your daughter seen animals mate before? I always thought explaining that’s how baby animals were made is the same way (but different) baby people are made.
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
I think 7 is a bit too young to tell her the facts of life, my daughter remained innocent till she had the facts of life video when she was 10.
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
I always keep my explanation simple and follow my child’s lead. I told my children that mommy’s and daddy’s both help make the baby and it grows inside the mommy. I use proper terminology so that my children don’t get confused and I only answer what they ask.
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
when a girl and boy (you can use mummy and daddy if you want) love each other very much, they go to bed and make love. 9 months later, the baby which has been growing inside the mummy is born.
don’t lie and try to “protect” her with lies about storks and stuff. be honest (even if it IS in the most sugar coated way possible), because if you lie, when she gets the cold hard facts, she’ll feel like sex is something bad and dirty, and you shouldn’t ask questions about it, and she’ll go get her answers elsewhere when she’s older, instead of coming to talk to you.
trust me, my mum fed me the “the stork bout you to our doorway” story, and when I found out, i felt like it was something disgusting, that’s why mummy had lied to me. not the best way to feel when you’re a kid.
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
Try telling her the truth. Use child friendly words. If you don’t the only alternative is to lie and then you will confuse. When they find out the truth as you say from the playground, which will be much sooner than you think.
You may find it awkward and even embarrasing but soon or later it has to be said.
If tshe is asking it is because she wants to know.
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
well i know people who give their child their kid “the Period book.” It talks about puberty and that stuff but that might be a little old for a 1-2 grader. So i would just say “when a mommy and daddy love eachother very much they can deside they want a babby. The baby apears in the mommy’s stummy and is born that way.”
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
The best thing is to KNOW what you are talking about when you answer her questions. Answer her questions but not the whole story all at once, just what she is curious about. As she gets older she will have more questions and eventually she will be to the point where she can comprehend the hole explanation and you should explain it all at that time, including sexually transmitted diseases and the responsibilities associated with raising children. Don’t cop out and leave it up to the school to teach her. I was 9 when I watched the planned parenthood movies that demonstrated conception from beginning and birth at the end. I think that it was good for me at that age, but that was me. The things that they learn from their friends are going to happen no matter when you tell your children about it, but if you always give facts you can’t go wrong. If you say to much to early she probably won’t understand anyway and no harm will be done, but don’t wait to long. It is important to make even a 7 year old aware of what improper sexual touching and such things are, it can happen within families and in schools etc.. It can be from kids their own age and from adults, male and female… If you teach them the proper words for sex organs it also makes it easier for them to distinguish the garbage they may hear from their friends from the facts that you teach them. If they know a vagina and a penis, and their friends are talking about a weenie and a tweeter, they will give less credibility to their friends explanations. Answer their question, then stop and wait for more questions, etc… use facts only… you can’t go to wrong…
on July 3rd, 2009 at %I:%M %p
You’d be surprised how much children already know by age 7. Although you don’t need to go into great details about how a baby is made, just tell them what we told ours or your own version of something similar: God decided we needed another little baby to make our family complete so he took a bit of daddy and a bit of mommy and squished it together to make a baby dough and put it in mommy’s tummy where it has to get cooked for 9 months.
We also have let them watch sanitized versions of births such as Birth Day on the Discovery Health channel. There’s no nudity or it’s blurred out, and there’s no graphic detail of the birth, just that the mommy is making funny faces and noises with her legs up and then the baby pops out of somewhere in that area. It’s really quite an easy an effective way to stave off the more scary conversations of sex and reproduction til a more appropriate age without refusing to answer the question “where do babies come from” or using one of those contrived answers about the stork or being found under a cabbage leaf that just leaves them thinking that it’s not ok to ask you about things like that so they won’t approach you later when they REALLY need answers to sex related questions.