What Is The Best Way Of Introducing My Kids To My Girlfriend?
Have been going out for a year and I really want to introduce my kids to my girlfriend, however, I have 3 kids (BBG, 12, 11 & 6) and they are v.close to their Mum and I am worried that its going to be really awkward. I see my children regularly twice a week & have a good relationship with them. I am planning an ice skating session with my gf & the kids as an opening event? Can anyone suggest any pitfalls to avoid? Any good articles or books on this subject?
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
Do they know about her yet? If they don’t explain that this women (we’ll call her Kate for the sake of the matter) is a very special friend to you, kind off like mummy was to me when I first met her. Take the kids and Kate out to a theme park or such for the day and have a good time. If the kids and Kate are comfortable together maybe you could leave Kate with them while you go and get everybody ice-cream or something. Do not force them to like her or even talk to her at first. Also let Kate know that they are close to their mummy incase they seem distant to her.
P.S. Let them know that there are no hard feelings between you and mummy.
All the best,
Merry Christmas
and
Happy New Year
To you and your family
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
Don’t introduce the children to your girlfriend until you have made a long term commitment to her. Your kids don’t need to be put in the middle of your dating life.
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
the 11 and 12 year old may be a bit bitter they know whats goin on and may feel they have to dislike her for there mother but your 6 year old will probably be very accepting. my bf has 2 kids from another relationship they are now 9 and 7 they were 7 and 5 when i first met them and they said they were great from the start kids are more accepting then people give them credit for
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
If you are pretty certain that you and gf will continue to have a long term commitment, your idea will be fine. I am sure your kids know by now you have a ‘friend’. I would introduce the gf as your friend. No smoochy face. Your older kids will understand the relationship, but it does not need to be thrown in their faces. The youngest might be more comfortable with “dad’s friend” to begin with.
Don’t be shocked if the kids at first reject her. She is of course the “not-Mom”. I mean to say don’t blame yourself or the gf if the kids don’t like her.
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
How long have you and mom been seperated? Have the two of you been civil or is there alot of anomosity between you two? Or are you the other extreme- continuously getting back together only to split a few days later?
If you’re civil, the kids will probalby take it better- but if mom’s all “Beeep- I can’t believe him” then the kids won’t be happy either. IF YOU are the last- be prepared for WORLD WAR 3!
I suggest inviting the g/f out somewhere with you and the kids- if she has kids all the better. Take it slow- don’t introduce them and then have her stay over- that won’t go over so well- and don’t be smoochy facing in front of them.
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
Make the introductions as best you can. Also prepare them ahead of time. Don’t try to force her on them. Let them see that she is ok and come to conclusions on their own.
It may be a little choppy but in time it will smooth out.
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
The 12 and 11 year old should understand without a problem…but the 6 year old might need a little more time to get used to it. If you and the mom have been sperated for some time they might be used to the fact that mom and dad could start to date. (well the older ones at least.)
Just be truthful, whatever you do, and explain that she is not taking mommy’s place in their lives, and that you don’t want that.