What Should Kids Know About Sexual Health, And When Should They Know It?
what should kids know about sexual health, and when should they know it?
Serious question here…just interested in what parents, educators think.
Considering the advantage of a kid knowing that they should NOT pick up a used condom…and yes these can be found on the playgrounds and parking lots of many urban and suburban schools… isn’t it a good idea to have a plan for what to tell them, and when to tell them?
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
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For the most part, it makes sense to talk to kids about sexual health when they are about to reach puberty or technically capable of having sex or sexual feelings or thoughts.
When it comes to making much younger kids informed about how to stay away from potential risks that are sexual in nature, you don’t necessary have to approach it in a sex oriented angle.
For example, in case of a condom in a public place, all you have to do is coach the kid not to pick up anything that is not theirs and give a kid friendly explanation why, such as it is dirty or its poison or what ever.
When it comes to explaining kids the whole concept of sex and mating, that’s a whole different story. Yet it always helps to give kids an explanation that makes sense to them and something that they can build on later on when they understand things better.
Try to be creative.
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on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
It starts right away when children are young, for parents to use proper names for body parts – you have an arm and a knee, girls have a vulva and a vagina, women have breasts, boys have testicles and a penis.
As the child grows, answer questions as they are posed, and be totally open to what they are asking. Usually the where do babies come from? question comes around 6 or so. Answer other more emotionally charged issues according to your family’s own morals/ethics/faith. Better they learn from you than the myths on the playground.
We were lucky to have a very good family life program in the school, which was supported by us being able to see the materials ahead of time, and a parent guide to use at home. It was very forward thinking, comprehensive, and gave very good suggestions for home education to support what they were learning at school.
All learning must be reinforced each year as the child matures, with more information added as it is appropriate.
Good luck!
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
being a parent of a toddler, i have thought about how i should answer this question if/when it comes up.
i think when he is ready and understands life we will get there.
we went to a baby shower a month ago and i pointed out my pregnant friend to my son, had him fell the baby move and told him that a baby was inside (thankfully he didnt ask how the baby got there) for now though, i am seriously considering leaving that explanation between him and his dad.
in my opinion i should explain all this to him when he is 8. not the graphic details but rather how babies came to be.
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
seual health/ used condoms on the play ground seam like two different subjects to me. If a child was 2,3 or 4 and they were a reality in the suburb you lived in I would explain that somebody should not have left that there and not to touch it. I wouldnt bring up sex at all.
when they were older and they asked what it was for I would tell them honestly. Because if you dont when they find out what it is(probably from some other kid) they will remember that you lied and didnt want to talk about sex.
I think sex should be talked about in a natural way along with periods etc that way it is not a scary subject for children to talk about I think they will ask questions when they are ready. They need to know in an age apropriate way for self protection.
my daughter is nearly 13 they have sex ed at school soon. she came home and told me .”we ve got sex ed soon everybody is freaking and embarrassed except for me”.
we had a laugh about it . you want your child to be able to look you in the face and say sex because they may need your help in this area with alot of questions etc.
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
It truly depends on the age. There should be a combination of parent and educators giving information. The first thing, in my opinion, that kids should learn is general information about their bodies. Nothing too technical, such as the seminal vesicles, but rather more about what they do, explaining how a baby is born (in an almost crudely-simple way) and about differences and similarities between males and females. As they get older, they should learn about puberty, in an upbeat manner that explains how it benefits the body while preparing them for any changes. Later on, in later middle school years, reintroduce anatomy in a more complicated way, focusing on the process of producing gametes, birthing, and even menstruation. Then explain sexual activity and, of course, STD’s and how to prevent them. Throughout this time, stress that sex is meant for a very intimate relationship and should not be casual. I advise giving children a condom or two, just to ensure that they have access, and say that, while you would rather they wait and make sure that they are ready and fully developed to have sex, that you want most of all that they do it in the safest manner possible. Show them, using a “model”, how condoms are used, and explain other methods of safe sex, explaining their effectiveness and what they protect against. If they think using protection reduces the enjoyability of sex, remind them that it’s much more comfortable than having herpes or giving birth. Also, enforce that even people without symptoms can have many different STD’s, as long as they’re sexually active. Somewhere in all this, explain gay and lesbian thinking, but be supportive, please. If it is against your belief to support homosexuality (don’t URGE them to be, of course! xD), then simply explain it in a non-bias manner. High schoolers already have multiple science classes which specify sex organs and puberty, so after middle school, other than a check in and answering questions, relax. If you make them believe that they can talk to you about anything, they likely will.
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
Start as early as possible with some basics. The key to answering kids questions about sex and sexual health and reproduction is to answer what they ask.
If a 6 year old asks where babies come from, you don’t start explaining sex and reproduction to him. You say, the baby comes from Mommies Tummy. He says Oh, O.K. and walks away.
After a while, he may ask the question, how did the baby get in Mommies tummy? The answer is Daddy put it there so it could grow.
As for the used condom part, they don’t need to know what a condom is for, to know what it is, and that it should be left alone. Tell them it is dirty if it is on the ground and they could get sick if they touch one. Let them know to tell an adult if they see one, and have the adult deal with it. And call it a condom, that’s what it is. Don’t make up nosense words to try to hide facts. Kids will see though that.
By speaking frankly with your kids about these subjects and not trying to hide things from them, or using stupid words like tallywacker to describe their privates, you will encourage them to ask you when they have questions, They will feel comfortable talking to you about it.
Think back to how you found out about sex. Do you want your kids to find out that way? Do you want them to know details.
Information is not permission. Tell them you would prefer them not to have sex, and WHY you would prefer them not to have sex. Tell them that if they DO choose to have sex, you would appreciate if they asked for advice, BEFORE they did it. Tell them you won’t freak out and prude up about it, and STICK to that.
If they think they’ll get in trouble for it, they’ll keep secrets. That is the sure way to teen pregnancy and disease.
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
Well if you’re teaching kids about sex make sure they know everything. When i first leared about sex no one really brought up certain factors. Like oral sex was never really talked about. Make sure they know ALL the risks both physical and emotional that go along with sex.
And clear up any misconceptions or myths about pregnancy and std’s. “Yes you can get pregnant the first time” “Yes you can get pregnant even if he ‘pulls out’ “, etc.
Just make sure to fully explain.
And sooner rather than later. I say they need to know by fith or sixth grade at least.
on July 6th, 2009 at %I:%M %p
well i am a young parent myself, ive recently done a peer education course in sexual health and relationships in young people. theres many facts a child doesnt not no that they think they do. we went into schools in years 9,10 and 11 and spoke about our experiences the pupils said it was very helpfull the most shocking fact is that most of them did not no a girl can get pregnant if the guy pulls out. about the stis they can catch and what the stis can cause, the facts u dont get a house if u have a baby, a baby takes your life away, about all the different types of contraception. good luck with telling your daughter/son but if you need any more help/advice feel free to email me nofearnatsere@aol.com